Week 18- Guest Post- My Hubby!

Week 18- February 10, 2010

Apparently Week 18 is my week to introduce myself and give you a little bit of insight into the male perspective of what pregnancy is like. To introduce myself, this is Jim, Melissa's husband commonly referred to as "Hubby" in this blog. When I approached Melissa about this I asked her if I could do my own thing and talk about more than pregnancy. She candidly responded by saying "Of course you can do your own thing....just don't be dumb" The love is truly flowing in the Rose household on this chilly Valentine's Day in Chicago.

To start I think the most appropriate word to describe how these last 18 weeks have been is Special. Melissa and I have been through a lot in these last 17 months of marriage and the preceding 23 months that we dated before we were married, but none of that has really compared to the joy, excitement and pure fear that has gripped us since we have found out that WE were expecting. I only capitalize WE because sometimes people forget that more than one person is going through changes that occur when pregnancy happens.

The joy and excitement have been shared by the two of us, but I feel like the fear is more on my side. 6 Months ago I left a successful career to start from scratch in a completely different field that brought about a ton of financial opportunity....as well as uncertainty. Melissa and I had several conversations about how this could affect our family moving forward and in the end I had her full support to make this life altering career move. Women face a ton of challenges during pregnancy (mood swings, cravings, weight gain, headaches, morning sickness... etc.), and I feel like men mainly deal with two.....Supporting their pregnant(and sometimes difficult - sorry sugar) wives, and thinking about how in the hell they are going to support their growing family.

Starting a new job where I am effectively running my own business is probably not the ideal situation I pictured when thinking about starting a family, but the timing is never going to be perfect and Melissa and I were ready. So after our first anniversary we dove in. Melissa assured me that these things take time and that nobody gets pregnant fast. So I'm thinking I have at least a few months to get my business going and start making some dough before we get pregnant. HA! Not one month after the process began we got the best news yet....the + sign. After the dust settled and reality set in (this takes longer for us with a Y chromosome because we cannot truly connect with the baby until after they are breathing oxygen) I began to start taking a great interest in what my beautiful wife was going through. Typically I am a fast reader and I was through the first 7 months of "The Expectant Father" in a couple hours. I was going to be a pro at understanding what my wife was going through and be the best partner while she was going through this. Books are great, but unfortunately they just cannot prepare you for the unexpected emotions that flow out of pregnant women and their sensitive husbands ;). In the last 5 months there have been times of pure joy and pure frustration. You would have to be the Dalai Lama to handle it all with a smile on your face the whole time. The good news is that Melissa and I have been smiling more than anything else.

For any other pregnant or pregnant to be women out there that want to share some advice with their mates please pass on the following information....

• Nothing should ever come out of your moth in regard to your pregnant wife's appearance other than "I have never seen you look more beautiful than you look right now"
• Pregnant women eat more now that they have a child growing inside. Don't comment, just be happy that they aren't chewing on your arm.
• Pregnant women sleep a lot. Unless you feel like getting your ass chewed out, do not wake them unless the house is on fire.
• Pregnant women go to the bathroom more than a college frat boy who just slugged a case of beer, so expect to be woken up several times in the middle of the night.
• Their entire wardrobe is completely worthless after the 4 month, so they have to spend a ton of cash on new clothes. The best way to deal with this is to stop yourself from gaining a ton of weight and being happy that you only need one new wardrobe and not two.

I could go on for hours about everything we have been through and perhaps I will get to in another post, but for now I need to wrap this up. I feel so blessed that I am a going to be a father, and that I have such a great wife who is going to make a wonderful mother. It hasn't always been easy, but nothing ever is. What I can say is that we are very happy and excited about what the future holds. In two weeks we find out whether we are having a boy or a girl. I'm am impartial, but would love to even up the number of males to females in the house.

Below is a picture of my lovely wife. I have never seen her more beautiful than she looks in this picture (see advice #1 above)!